Hm, well I do suppose I say that often.
So yeah. Hi. Remember me? No? That's okay, I forgot about you too.
How long has it been? I have no idea. I just know that I missed blogging here, so guess what? I'm blogging here.
School has so far been a manure pile. My classes don't give me joy, neither do most of the people. Teachers are blah. But what can you do? I suppose the quickest and easiest way to solve all life's shit is just to kill yourself. Am I suicidal? A little. But not emo. Even if I'm purely suicidal, I'm still not emo. I don't enjoy mutilating myself, because being the vain creature I am, I prefer to be beautiful. If possible. If not, at least not butt-ugly.
So I ate and went to my room and ranted and then did homework and then went to the bathroom and then I got up and the water in the toilet was bloody.
So yeah. Hi. Remember me? No? That's okay, I forgot about you too.
How long has it been? I have no idea. I just know that I missed blogging here, so guess what? I'm blogging here.
School has so far been a manure pile. My classes don't give me joy, neither do most of the people. Teachers are blah. But what can you do? I suppose the quickest and easiest way to solve all life's shit is just to kill yourself. Am I suicidal? A little. But not emo. Even if I'm purely suicidal, I'm still not emo. I don't enjoy mutilating myself, because being the vain creature I am, I prefer to be beautiful. If possible. If not, at least not butt-ugly.
So I ate and went to my room and ranted and then did homework and then went to the bathroom and then I got up and the water in the toilet was bloody.
So today I went to get my wisdom teeth removed. I thought I was going to remove only two but I got all four pulled out. The doctor that did it for me had a lot of experience, and she was not particularly rough so that was good. And it did not take too long, maybe an hour give or take.
WHAT WASN'T GOOD. She gave me a lot of anesthetic shots so afterward, my face was very numb and it was super uncomfortable. So I came home, with two ice packs glued to my face and I tried not to drool saliva-blood everywhere. Ended up staying in the bathroom for maybe an hour because blood kept leaking out, my wounds would not stop bleeding. FINALLY. After two hours, it stopped. And then that's when the pain started coming. It still hurts, and my mom is not back with my meds and I'm dying right now. Almost 3 hours of no meds, what do you expect? The pain is reaching all the up the temples and surprisingly, it's not the surgically removed ones that are bothering me, but the ones that were just yanked out.
Did I tell you, that I may have a chance that I will not feel anything on my lip and lower jaw for maybe, permenantly? Because one of the wisdom teeth happens to lie dangerously close to a nerve. Great. I'M STILL WAITING FOR MY MOTHER TO COME H
WHAT WASN'T GOOD. She gave me a lot of anesthetic shots so afterward, my face was very numb and it was super uncomfortable. So I came home, with two ice packs glued to my face and I tried not to drool saliva-blood everywhere. Ended up staying in the bathroom for maybe an hour because blood kept leaking out, my wounds would not stop bleeding. FINALLY. After two hours, it stopped. And then that's when the pain started coming. It still hurts, and my mom is not back with my meds and I'm dying right now. Almost 3 hours of no meds, what do you expect? The pain is reaching all the up the temples and surprisingly, it's not the surgically removed ones that are bothering me, but the ones that were just yanked out.
Did I tell you, that I may have a chance that I will not feel anything on my lip and lower jaw for maybe, permenantly? Because one of the wisdom teeth happens to lie dangerously close to a nerve. Great. I'M STILL WAITING FOR MY MOTHER TO COME H
I really am, and I'm sorry for not being a good person and for not showing people I appreciate them.
I haven't told anyone yet because talking about it makes me feel uneasy and emotional.
My mother has a neck tumor. She told me maybe a week ago, and I've been carrying this information around, heavy in my heart. She probably needs surgery, she said sometime this spring break. What am I going to do? I can't stand my cousin or my uncle, they are outsiders and they just complicate everything. They don't appreciate her, they give her extra work to do, more heartache, and they just don't fucking care.
I was asked her what exactly was it, because I wanted to confirm the worst case scenario. "Is it the thing that may cause cancer?" The word cancer scared me, it frightened me so bad that I stuttered when I said it. Even if the tumor was benign, I don't want her to go through surgery. Something could go wrong, she could have problems after it and I am very afraid of the possibilities. Chinese people don't say "I love you" easily. They say something similar which literally translates to "I kiss you", and that is usually reserved for my little sister. I don't know what to do and I'm afraid of what's going to happen.
Something I never thought would happen to my family happened. I can't bear the thought of my mother in the hospital.
My life is bad luck.
I haven't told anyone yet because talking about it makes me feel uneasy and emotional.
My mother has a neck tumor. She told me maybe a week ago, and I've been carrying this information around, heavy in my heart. She probably needs surgery, she said sometime this spring break. What am I going to do? I can't stand my cousin or my uncle, they are outsiders and they just complicate everything. They don't appreciate her, they give her extra work to do, more heartache, and they just don't fucking care.
I was asked her what exactly was it, because I wanted to confirm the worst case scenario. "Is it the thing that may cause cancer?" The word cancer scared me, it frightened me so bad that I stuttered when I said it. Even if the tumor was benign, I don't want her to go through surgery. Something could go wrong, she could have problems after it and I am very afraid of the possibilities. Chinese people don't say "I love you" easily. They say something similar which literally translates to "I kiss you", and that is usually reserved for my little sister. I don't know what to do and I'm afraid of what's going to happen.
Something I never thought would happen to my family happened. I can't bear the thought of my mother in the hospital.
My life is bad luck.
Did you all die or something?
I think it is so boring, writing on Livejournal now. No one is here and it's basically like talking to myself. I wrote a poem for English. My teacher was not happy with my last two lines, so she made me indecisive of what words I should use and blah blah blah. This is the end product.
Bare as Air
I looked in the mirror and I saw panic.
I washed my face and wished for another.
I said to myself "Don't be manic"
Why do I even bother?
So I'm walking down the hall.
Looking like a nobody.
While everyone's having a ball.
The I asked somebody.
"Can you see me?"
And she didn't even answer.
"Can you hear me?"
I'm better off as cancer.
I am through and bare.
You only see me as air.
I think it is so boring, writing on Livejournal now. No one is here and it's basically like talking to myself. I wrote a poem for English. My teacher was not happy with my last two lines, so she made me indecisive of what words I should use and blah blah blah. This is the end product.
Bare as Air
I looked in the mirror and I saw panic.
I washed my face and wished for another.
I said to myself "Don't be manic"
Why do I even bother?
So I'm walking down the hall.
Looking like a nobody.
While everyone's having a ball.
The I asked somebody.
"Can you see me?"
And she didn't even answer.
"Can you hear me?"
I'm better off as cancer.
I am through and bare.
You only see me as air.
I really did not know what to write, and this just came out of my head, after writing like 5 other useless pieces of shit. God, I'm profound.
So these past few days have been kind of pissy. I'm getting really annoyed at certain people and I really want them to disappear. There are at least three people I can name that I would want strangle.
I've been feeling kind of active lately. I want to go out and run but I never get to because I always get sidetracked with work and family. But feeling active does not mean I like dance class any better. I really hate those stupid 6-step pirouettes and looking at other girls make me want to puke my insides out. Fun. Which reminds me. I was talking to a friend today, and I was reminded that I have not been to theater for a while. I couldn't even recall the last film I saw. Not that there are movies that I desperately want to see. I am more interested in watching stuff that has been around for a while. I probably could just wait a couple of months and it would be in my TV. I saw parts of Secret Life of the Bees. It's pretty similar to the book, from what I've seen. The only thing though, Rosaline (was that her name?), the maid person that gets conked on her head, is Jennifer Hudson. And she doesn't play true to the character. I know. I'm boring you. But don't go away. Just pick a topic and I will write. Yes, pathetic I know. But aren't we all?
So these past few days have been kind of pissy. I'm getting really annoyed at certain people and I really want them to disappear. There are at least three people I can name that I would want strangle.
I've been feeling kind of active lately. I want to go out and run but I never get to because I always get sidetracked with work and family. But feeling active does not mean I like dance class any better. I really hate those stupid 6-step pirouettes and looking at other girls make me want to puke my insides out. Fun. Which reminds me. I was talking to a friend today, and I was reminded that I have not been to theater for a while. I couldn't even recall the last film I saw. Not that there are movies that I desperately want to see. I am more interested in watching stuff that has been around for a while. I probably could just wait a couple of months and it would be in my TV. I saw parts of Secret Life of the Bees. It's pretty similar to the book, from what I've seen. The only thing though, Rosaline (was that her name?), the maid person that gets conked on her head, is Jennifer Hudson. And she doesn't play true to the character. I know. I'm boring you. But don't go away. Just pick a topic and I will write. Yes, pathetic I know. But aren't we all?
- Mood:
full - Music:Joni Mitchell
Seriously. Finals are coming up, and 1st semester is almost done and I am down low in the grade ghetto. Nothing seems to be working out for me. Nothing is really making me happier and everything is just disappointing. Grades, my physical appearance, my mother, school, friends, society, life in general is just giving me shit. I have nothing to look forward to, and I feel all too much like Holden Caulfield. And I don't have rich parents to back me up and someone younger than my parents but older than me to help me.
I need to get up early to wash my hair, and I have to find my comb later because I know if I don't do it now, I'll waste at least 30 minutes looking for it in the morning. Another thing that depresses me. My hair. My hair has been a constant trouble and it is normal for me to be complaining about it.. but now.. all I really want to do is chop it off and get a cool short hairdo. Like Tegan's. I'm obsessed now, about looking more mature, because the kids at school disgust me with their immature, naive attitude. Almost everyone is gullible and ignorant and it sickens me. Like a 12 yaer old wearing nipple tassles. That's what I think of when I see my female schoolmates wearing stripper make-up and clothes that scream "FUCK ME HARD".
I need an ego-boost. Some clothes that will make me invincible, and some make-up that will make me look like as I had plastic surgery. I want to be that amazing, that even though I'm a failure at school and that I have enough fat to live 3+ lifetimes, I'll have a style that everyone will envy. I don't think I'll succeed though. I don't have money and I'll be kick out before my parents see me with make-up. So I'm back at where I started. A loser.
Why do they act like this. Why. I hate this. I hate all of them. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck this all. Fuck them all.
My family was suppose to go to Vegas. I was going to go book a room online. Then. An argument about how many days we were going to spend there and hotel arrangements. My mom had to lie to and not have a kid come over on Saturday. Then. My parents argue. Argue. Argue. My dad yells at my mom. My mom cries. I scream. WHY DO WE FIGHT ALL THE TIME. SHUT UP. Silence. Sister cries. Comes to me for answers. All I can do is have her sit on my lap and stroke her back. Mother comes over. Starts venting on me. Starts crying. Makes it as I was the cause.
" I'M SO TIRED. TIRED THAT I CAN DIE. I DON'T ASK YOU TO HELP BECAUSE I WANT Y
I made dad stop yelling at you. Why are you taking this out on me. I want to hit something. I want to kill something. Punch. Kick. FUCKING THROW SOMETHING. I FUCKING HATE THIS. WHY DO THEY DO THIS. DON'T THEY KNOW THAT WE HURT AND WE SUFF
My family was suppose to go to Vegas. I was going to go book a room online. Then. An argument about how many days we were going to spend there and hotel arrangements. My mom had to lie to and not have a kid come over on Saturday. Then. My parents argue. Argue. Argue. My dad yells at my mom. My mom cries. I scream. WHY DO WE FIGHT ALL THE TIME. SHUT UP. Silence. Sister cries. Comes to me for answers. All I can do is have her sit on my lap and stroke her back. Mother comes over. Starts venting on me. Starts crying. Makes it as I was the cause.
" I'M SO TIRED. TIRED THAT I CAN DIE. I DON'T ASK YOU TO HELP BECAUSE I WANT Y
I made dad stop yelling at you. Why are you taking this out on me. I want to hit something. I want to kill something. Punch. Kick. FUCKING THROW SOMETHING. I FUCKING HATE THIS. WHY DO THEY DO THIS. DON'T THEY KNOW THAT WE HURT AND WE SUFF
My mom just likes yelling at me. Even for the most innocent things, she will reprimand me. Like today. Our sofas were delivered this morning, and my mom just kills herself because she wants things her way. As in she always makes more work for herself. As in rearranging the rugs 100 times, vacuuming 200 times, yelling at her oldest daughter 300 times. She berated me for using the faucet, because she said I was abusing it. Fuck. Would it be better than to use my tongue? Lick them clean? Later, she harshly yells at me for sitting while uncle and her are working, even though I would just be in the way because there is nothing for me to do. THEN,she tells me that I'm in the way even though I sitting on a fucking couch. Who the fuck needs this shit. I'm so angry. I can't tolerate her behavior. She wants a fight, she'll get a fight. Yelling at me, using me a fucking scapegoat for all her problems is so annoying. Sorry mother, I'll just kill myself you'll wont have to deal with my messy room. Messy rooms are such a big deal to her. Everything is such a fucking big deal to her. My room can be spotless and so immaculate but still, mother dear will say to clean my room. I can't listen to her anymore. And then. 10 minutes after she said I was abusing the faucet, she goes and makes this loud breaking noise with the dishes. Who the fuck needs them. Mothers. Especially not mine.
Added. I spent nearly the entire day jamming my fucking SAT book in my head and when I use the computer for 10 minutes she angrily asks why I'm not studying. Seriously. Who the fuck needs this shit.
Added. I spent nearly the entire day jamming my fucking SAT book in my head and when I use the computer for 10 minutes she angrily asks why I'm not studying. Seriously. Who the fuck needs this shit.
- Mood:
angry
It has been 6 weeks since I last updated... 6 weeks! I know, but I made a goal to myself, to stop posting on LiveJournal if I was just going to type mindless rage. So I could've posted here sometime in those 6 weeks if the entry wasn't a rant but the thing was... every time I logged on I was an angry bitch that NEEDED TO RANT. So I didn't make a new entries. So, I intend to stay in a friendly banter right now, so I have to try and not to think about unpleasant things. No matter how unpleasant and aggravating they are, I will not think about them!
Right now I have a horrible craving for brie, so bad that I went ate some plain Monterey Jack. I still want brie. One day, I will go and buy a whole wheel of brie. I wonder how much that will cost me.. I also like Camembert, which is similar... wonder if it's cheaper... Yikes, have to stop talk about yummy cheeses or I'll drool on my keyboard and kill it. Let's find a better, stable, less drool-inducing subject.
So. Although I am a big fan of Macs and have been lusting for one for who knows how long, I'm having my doubts right now. I recently had to use PowerPoint for a project and the computers at the library being all Macs.. so I had to use PowerPoint for Mac. Let's just say that it wasn't good. It was hard to use because nothing was in reach, and it required a lot of clicking and effort to do trivial things, like changing fonts. It was a mother to use. Not only that, but you have to pay for Microsoft software (Word, PowerPoint, etc) if I do get a Mac. But it's this or a Vista.. and I really do hate Vistas. SOMEONE GIVE MY GUIDANCE!
Right now I have a horrible craving for brie, so bad that I went ate some plain Monterey Jack. I still want brie. One day, I will go and buy a whole wheel of brie. I wonder how much that will cost me.. I also like Camembert, which is similar... wonder if it's cheaper... Yikes, have to stop talk about yummy cheeses or I'll drool on my keyboard and kill it. Let's find a better, stable, less drool-inducing subject.
So. Although I am a big fan of Macs and have been lusting for one for who knows how long, I'm having my doubts right now. I recently had to use PowerPoint for a project and the computers at the library being all Macs.. so I had to use PowerPoint for Mac. Let's just say that it wasn't good. It was hard to use because nothing was in reach, and it required a lot of clicking and effort to do trivial things, like changing fonts. It was a mother to use. Not only that, but you have to pay for Microsoft software (Word, PowerPoint, etc) if I do get a Mac. But it's this or a Vista.. and I really do hate Vistas. SOMEONE GIVE MY GUIDANCE!
- Mood: full
- Music:The Doors
This is a completely pointless post for you, but not at all pointless for me. Needed a place to list movies in note.
Watched
American Beauty
Better Than Chocolate
The Birdcage
Breakfast on Pluto
Brokeback Mountain
Boys Don't Cry
But I'm A Cheerleader
Camp
The Color Purple
Farewell My Concubine
Fried Green Tomatoes
Gohatto
In & Out
Kinky Boots
Milk
Philadelphia
Rent
Saving Face
To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar
Transamerica
V For Vendetta
Want to Watch
Brideshead Revisited
Itty Bitty Titty Committee
Mambo Italiano
Ma Vie En Rose
Priest
Summer of Love
Total Eclipse
Watched
American Beauty
Better Than Chocolate
The Birdcage
Breakfast on Pluto
Brokeback Mountain
Boys Don't Cry
But I'm A Cheerleader
Camp
The Color Purple
Farewell My Concubine
Fried Green Tomatoes
Gohatto
In & Out
Kinky Boots
Milk
Philadelphia
Rent
Saving Face
To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar
Transamerica
V For Vendetta
Want to Watch
Brideshead Revisited
Itty Bitty Titty Committee
Mambo Italiano
Ma Vie En Rose
Priest
Summer of Love
Total Eclipse
I'm trying to think of what to type. I didn't really have a motive to blog except: "OMIGOSH TODAY IS SUNDAY AND FEELS L
Something missing is haven't going to LiveJournal for a while. I don't know why I haven't been, I go online almost daily basis. So catching up. Actually, there is nothing to catch up. My stalker page's most recent update is one I have seen already so I guess everybody is as dead as I am. Well, I'm not dead, but everybody else is. Still thinking, if you haven't noticed the rambling and random text. Hmmm. Should I talk about SCHOOL and how much I wish it would go and rot into something slimy and preferably orange OR people and how they can never cease to annoy me....... which reminds me. Alpha tomorrow. WHYYYYYYYYYY.
I'll just talk about my iPod. Looking at it, I have gotten tired. I am at that period where none of my musicians can satisfy. Not even Bright Eyes and the seventy-something songs I have from him. Not even Dashboard, Tegan and Sara AND The Honorary Title. My tops can't help me. I need something new, something I have never heard before.. and I'm too lazy to download shit from LimeWire. Not to mention that I feel like I'm committing blasphemy if I do so. Eh. Still thinking about Tegan and Sara though, and the dream show I will never be able to go to. Well, Tegan and Sara dream show, not dream show of all shows. Which reminds me of The Honorary Title and how fucking awesome that was. Must remind Whit to give me video clips.
Hm. I just remembered something. A friend of mom's called when mom wasn't there. I told her that she was gone so I was expecting some type of message or goodbye until she proceeded to ask about my academic life and therefore SHE'S A FUCKING NOSYBODY. She got the point when I told her twice that I was in the 11th grade. Yes I'm taking the SAT. No, I don't know where I'm going, I don't have an idea where I'm going. Then I waited for her to sound thoroughly disappointed and influenced by my un-Asian "courtesy" and hang the fuck up. And anything she says to my mom is probably believable except the how "impolite your daughter is" because it is very uncharacteristic of me and she has heard so many compliments of "oh you have such a gracious daughter". Not to mention that the friend is a vengeful, gossipy hag everybody knows her as. Ugh.
I feel like I haven't been typing anything happy or non-ranting. .. I looked at my most recent posts and indeed, all were rant.
Well I can't type about anything cheery now so I'll just make that a promise for next time. Unless you prefer carnage and carpal tunnel.
Something missing is haven't going to LiveJournal for a while. I don't know why I haven't been, I go online almost daily basis. So catching up. Actually, there is nothing to catch up. My stalker page's most recent update is one I have seen already so I guess everybody is as dead as I am. Well, I'm not dead, but everybody else is. Still thinking, if you haven't noticed the rambling and random text. Hmmm. Should I talk about SCHOOL and how much I wish it would go and rot into something slimy and preferably orange OR people and how they can never cease to annoy me....... which reminds me. Alpha tomorrow. WHYYYYYYYYYY.
I'll just talk about my iPod. Looking at it, I have gotten tired. I am at that period where none of my musicians can satisfy. Not even Bright Eyes and the seventy-something songs I have from him. Not even Dashboard, Tegan and Sara AND The Honorary Title. My tops can't help me. I need something new, something I have never heard before.. and I'm too lazy to download shit from LimeWire. Not to mention that I feel like I'm committing blasphemy if I do so. Eh. Still thinking about Tegan and Sara though, and the dream show I will never be able to go to. Well, Tegan and Sara dream show, not dream show of all shows. Which reminds me of The Honorary Title and how fucking awesome that was. Must remind Whit to give me video clips.
Hm. I just remembered something. A friend of mom's called when mom wasn't there. I told her that she was gone so I was expecting some type of message or goodbye until she proceeded to ask about my academic life and therefore SHE'S A FUCKING NOSYBODY. She got the point when I told her twice that I was in the 11th grade. Yes I'm taking the SAT. No, I don't know where I'm going, I don't have an idea where I'm going. Then I waited for her to sound thoroughly disappointed and influenced by my un-Asian "courtesy" and hang the fuck up. And anything she says to my mom is probably believable except the how "impolite your daughter is" because it is very uncharacteristic of me and she has heard so many compliments of "oh you have such a gracious daughter". Not to mention that the friend is a vengeful, gossipy hag everybody knows her as. Ugh.
I feel like I haven't been typing anything happy or non-ranting. .. I looked at my most recent posts and indeed, all were rant.
Well I can't type about anything cheery now so I'll just make that a promise for next time. Unless you prefer carnage and carpal tunnel.
- Mood:
pessimistic - Music:my sister screaming and the carpet getting mauled
So there you are. I'M NOT A STICKLER! REALLYYYYYY. (except for spelling) I'M WITH THE CROWD THAT SAYS "CAN" INSTEAD OF "MAY"! Well I sometimes use "may" when there's a particular teacher that wouldn't let you go piss unless you do otherwise, but really. I'm simple and down-to-earth. I WANT TO BE UNDERSTOOD. Why would I use SAT vocabulary and perplexing sentences if I want to be heard? I don't want to waste time telling them what animosity is when I can just tell that they hate each other! IT PISSES THE HELL OUT OF ME WHEN PEOPLE SAY SOMETHING LIKE "Oh, Whateverbitch totally deplored Whateverface's shoes but Whateverbitch is just covetous because she wanted them too." *runs to the bathroom to puke*
Just write what you want. Write what you feel. And don't feel like being someone smart. It's just a conscience-lifter to write like who you are. If you happen to be a smarty-pants impersonator and you can't change the fact because you're a sorry bastard, then fine! Go suffer and feel extreme remorse and guilt knowing that some poor girl (that's me) got hand cramps from typing furiously into a rapid, carpal tunnel-causing blog rant so she can stop idiots like you from becoming bigger idiots! Not to mention she used her super skills to go back and forth from keyboard/mouse to bold all in angry-dog mode! IT IS VERY PAINFUL AND I PROBABLY HAVE SO MANY GRAMMAR MISTAKES THAT YOU WOULD HAVE TO READ THIS TWICE TO UNDERSTAND. But I don't have spelling problems because I have that useful thing that automatically underlines your misspellings in red so I just erase immediately and type it correctly. Just imagine. This nobody pounding on her keyboard like it's a typer's "Fast and Furious".
I like typing because my hands are a better instrument that my voice. It's easier to get pumped and mob-angry then doing the same vocally. Not to mention it's safer on your ears. And it would save my voice and a lot of breathing and spittle.
Just write what you want. Write what you feel. And don't feel like being someone smart. It's just a conscience-lifter to write like who you are. If you happen to be a smarty-pants impersonator and you can't change the fact because you're a sorry bastard, then fine! Go suffer and feel extreme remorse and guilt knowing that some poor girl (that's me) got hand cramps from typing furiously into a rapid, carpal tunnel-causing blog rant so she can stop idiots like you from becoming bigger idiots! Not to mention she used her super skills to go back and forth from keyboard/mouse to bold all in angry-dog mode! IT IS VERY PAINFUL AND I PROBABLY HAVE SO MANY GRAMMAR MISTAKES THAT YOU WOULD HAVE TO READ THIS TWICE TO UNDERSTAND. But I don't have spelling problems because I have that useful thing that automatically underlines your misspellings in red so I just erase immediately and type it correctly. Just imagine. This nobody pounding on her keyboard like it's a typer's "Fast and Furious".
I like typing because my hands are a better instrument that my voice. It's easier to get pumped and mob-angry then doing the same vocally. Not to mention it's safer on your ears. And it would save my voice and a lot of breathing and spittle.
I occasionally think that I write like a boring snob so I try not too, but really, this is how I am. (<.<) It would make a lot more sense if you see me in person and listen to the way I rant/converse. My random up-down voice that begins or ends with a gravelly undertone (so a friend said) to an annoying high-pitched screech (I know). The reason I think I write like a wannabe intellectual is because of the blogs that I have read, and their intentional tone/wording that makes it hard to ignore their wish to sound/look SMART. It's even more unbearable when they use the wrong vocabulary or they use a impressive word in a sentence that talks about their dog! "Fluffy was like, SO avaricious when it came to sharing food with Lucky". I HATE THAT. IHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATE!!
*breathes loudly through nostrils*
It's not like I'm a English-Nazi and I think I'm perfect. I'M VERY IMPERFECT AND I'M TERRIBLE AT GRAMMAR AND I MIX UP MY WORDS A LOT. My mouth moves a lot faster than my brain. Instead of saying "Put the pot on the stove", I would say "Put the stove on the pot". That happens to me very often. It's not unusual that my friends would not bother correcting me. Well, maybe like two of them would because they're the perfect English-Nazis and what-not. And I drifted towards something meaningless. Ah! Get back on track. OH YEAH. I want to let the crickets know that I think I write dishonestly of my nature if because the pretenders make me think very self-consciously of my own writing "style" and this leads into more forceful "natural" composition. Bah. As if I actually go look for smarter, bigger words for "hungry". I just happen to know avaricious because I like looking up words I don't know when I read. And like I would use avaricious normally in conversations.
"Damn, I'm avaricious, shall we appease our need?." WHEN REALLY! "Damn, I need food. When are we going to eat?"
*breathes loudly through nostrils*
It's not like I'm a English-Nazi and I think I'm perfect. I'M VERY IMPERFECT AND I'M TERRIBLE AT GRAMMAR AND I MIX UP MY WORDS A LOT. My mouth moves a lot faster than my brain. Instead of saying "Put the pot on the stove", I would say "Put the stove on the pot". That happens to me very often. It's not unusual that my friends would not bother correcting me. Well, maybe like two of them would because they're the perfect English-Nazis and what-not. And I drifted towards something meaningless. Ah! Get back on track. OH YEAH. I want to let the crickets know that I think I write dishonestly of my nature if because the pretenders make me think very self-consciously of my own writing "style" and this leads into more forceful "natural" composition. Bah. As if I actually go look for smarter, bigger words for "hungry". I just happen to know avaricious because I like looking up words I don't know when I read. And like I would use avaricious normally in conversations.
"Damn, I'm avaricious, shall we appease our need?." WHEN REALLY! "Damn, I need food. When are we going to eat?"
SCHOOL! I HATE IT! HATE IT FOREVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. IT'S SOOOOOOOO PAINFUL!!
I just hate it. I don't want to go in deep detail because I'm beyond dull when I go "documentary descriptive" and it will recall traumatic reminiscence.
ARGGGGGG. Just thinking about it causes my tongue to go dry and my head spiraling in unpleasant mania. (not over-dramatization)
I hate school. It hates me (it's obvious), but school does make me think of what I truly enjoy doing: writing. Yes yes, I like writing. I actually like anything that involves with expressing myself and giving a chance to let people predict their crazy assumptions about me (!). Well, there's no people to read my idiotic musings but I wish there was. I like feedback. I want to know what they are thinking when they read this random, and I dare say, expressive banter. I want to find a group of other people who are as enthusiastic about being crazed-minded and dotty like me. I need to make myself known. I need to spread myself (;D). Did I mention that I am dirty pervert who enjoys making dirty, perverted jokes?
D: I started off decent but somehow I made this into a nerd rant. I'M NOT EVEN A NERD. I'm a moron with a lot of. Not telling you what of is. That was actually the end where I stopped being sane. Yes, I know, you haven't seen my full lunatic-potential. So after my lame joke, I was also decent but then it kind of went downhill. Yessssss. I should be ashamed but I think it would do some good if some idiots read it. Now I'm all sheepish, after my power-typing and possible keyboard explosion. I don't think I should let it out until the next time I blog. In fact, I think it should be read in seperate blogs so it you won't get lost in my portal of bad grammar and non-sensical sense!
- Mood:
high - Music:The Strokes
I was going to write yesterday, but I somehow got sidetracked. And I was given two subjects to write about, both weren't very appealing, so I'm just going to do what I like. So... Thinking of a subject to type about.. Hmmmmmmmm.... *more thoughtful noises* -Some moments later (includes bathroom breaks and getting a drink)-
I have decided. The mold on your bathroom walls. It's green.
I have decided. The mold on your bathroom walls. It's green.
- Mood:
artistic
I don't want to clean my room. Because I feel like it.
I don't want to be nice to the people I love. Because I feel like it.
I rather not try to make any friends, because I feel like it.
I don't feel like being human, so I can tell everyone to fuck off.
I don't want to be nice to the people I love. Because I feel like it.
I rather not try to make any friends, because I feel like it.
I don't feel like being human, so I can tell everyone to fuck off.
To make this entry totally random, let me just start off by saying that I am totally obsessed with making bento lunches and all things related. I really want to go to Mitsuwa/Dai Yu and buy a cute bento box and begin my adventures. Right now, I'm just looking at recipes, cool ideas and the like.
I really like this bento box.
And I want this lunch in it.
I will succeed!
I really like this bento box.
And I want this lunch in it.
I will succeed!
- Mood:
enthralled - Music:Vampire Weekend
And me.
Only one thing that can seriously distract me from being all mushy-mushy and happy with the event that is going to occur later on today(THT), is the people who rant about Breaking Dawn. I am going to kill everyone, including my friends, if anyone dares to claim that they were an idiot and bought the damn book at midnight. I don't care who the fuck you are, I will tear your organs out, one by one. And that's not it. Most definitely not. Thank goodness I'm lazy otherwise you would've have to read something really weird.
But really. That book and that author is getting on my nerves so much. Especially that it's all that people talk about. It's like the fucking Harry Potter. Minus the actual intelligent plot twists, catchy lines, and entertaining read.
I am very ashamed that I was a Twilight fan. Back when it was a little nobody and people ignored my random outbursts of "I LOVE EDWARD BLAH BLAH I WANT TO BE MRS. CULLEN BLAH BLAH*. I hate going to anywhere with fucking books because of the chance of seeing it. I was at the mall on Friday and that just killed me. THEY WERE SELLING TWILIGHT SHIT AT HOT FUCKING TOPIC. GAH. And then at Borders, which was no surprise but still bugged me like hell. AND THEN TODAY. AT COSTCO. THAT'S RIGHT. COSTCO.
If I didn't had the show today, I would be ranting about it so much that this entry would be an equivalent of an angry critic's essay. Scratch the witty sarcasm and snobbish tone.
The only thing worth being killed by a horrible death (at Costco's), was the huge tub of hummus (w/pine nuts) my mother bought for me. We're still thinking of making our own homemade hummus, which would be tastier and healthier. Not to mention significantly cheaper.
Hummus and Jarrod, that should be enough to distract me. If not, what is the world coming to?
Random: Aren't my mood thingies cute? I actually preferred the male one, but the female one obviously resembles me more.
Only one thing that can seriously distract me from being all mushy-mushy and happy with the event that is going to occur later on today(THT), is the people who rant about Breaking Dawn. I am going to kill everyone, including my friends, if anyone dares to claim that they were an idiot and bought the damn book at midnight. I don't care who the fuck you are, I will tear your organs out, one by one. And that's not it. Most definitely not. Thank goodness I'm lazy otherwise you would've have to read something really weird.
But really. That book and that author is getting on my nerves so much. Especially that it's all that people talk about. It's like the fucking Harry Potter. Minus the actual intelligent plot twists, catchy lines, and entertaining read.
I am very ashamed that I was a Twilight fan. Back when it was a little nobody and people ignored my random outbursts of "I LOVE EDWARD BLAH BLAH I WANT TO BE MRS. CULLEN BLAH BLAH*. I hate going to anywhere with fucking books because of the chance of seeing it. I was at the mall on Friday and that just killed me. THEY WERE SELLING TWILIGHT SHIT AT HOT FUCKING TOPIC. GAH. And then at Borders, which was no surprise but still bugged me like hell. AND THEN TODAY. AT COSTCO. THAT'S RIGHT. COSTCO.
If I didn't had the show today, I would be ranting about it so much that this entry would be an equivalent of an angry critic's essay. Scratch the witty sarcasm and snobbish tone.
The only thing worth being killed by a horrible death (at Costco's), was the huge tub of hummus (w/pine nuts) my mother bought for me. We're still thinking of making our own homemade hummus, which would be tastier and healthier. Not to mention significantly cheaper.
Hummus and Jarrod, that should be enough to distract me. If not, what is the world coming to?
Random: Aren't my mood thingies cute? I actually preferred the male one, but the female one obviously resembles me more.
- Mood: aggravated
- Music:The Strokes
Sunday is Honorary Title day!
WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Haha. Hah.
WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Haha. Hah.
- Mood:
ecstatic
I am extremely disappointed in myself. Why do I tell myself, that I have to be better and then slack off with such undeserved nonchalant attitude. Why do I torment myself with my own lies when I shouldn't even be allowed to be optimistic. I don't understand myself. It's like hearing things that aren't really there. There are a lot of things I can not comprehend. My mother likes repeating that, because I am young therefore stupid and naive. I really do want to learn and find the truth.
Or maybe I don't.
- Music:John Ralston
- Music:Modest Mouse
Profile
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
do_the_jas- Jessimen.
Syndicate
